Dear Kanye,
Please stop raping all my favorite songs.
Lest I be accused of being a hater, I would like to state for the record that I am not anti- hip-hop. I am definitely definitely not anti- remixing/sampling classics. I am just anti-you.
I’ve seen you play live. I was at Duke in 2004 when you played on Main West for the last day of classes celebration. I could watch you play from my dorm room, and though my attendance at this event was involuntary, I wanted to give you a fair shot. Of course you were about a hundred years late, and then to complete the 1-2 punch, you sucked. I mean, I like some artists who suck live, like…wait actually I don’t think I do. But that’s fine. It could probably happen.
You’d vanished from my radar almost as soon as you’d appeared, and thanks to living in North Carolina (and thus, not listening to the radio), I’ve had a happy few years without you.
Unfortunately, that all changed on a recent trip to Miami, where I was exposed to ‘Stronger’. I was a little bummed out that people exist who would rather listen to your contribution to Harder Better Faster Stronger than the original, but I was willing to let it go.
I would really, really, really have preferred if you’d have left The Eraser alone and not contributed to this, but it is really to your credit that Pharell and Lupe Fiasco are willing to work with you, so I can see why you’d want to get in on it.
The point at which we absolutely stopped being friends though, Kanye, is when I heard what you did with Young Folk. How do you sleep at night? I’m not being protective of Peter Bjorn and John. In fact, though I like Young Folk, I begrudgingly admire people who think they’re too cool for their music. It’s just, look at what you’ve done. It’s so damned awful I want to weep.
I’m not ruling out the possiblity that you know how much you suck and find it hilarious that someone gives you money for massacring these songs, but there are people, a lot of people, who just think you’re an asshole. Please consider this in your future endeavors.
And choke on something. thanks.
love,mary
I’ve had a pretty rough week and haven’t been up to writing (though you may have noticed I posted a couple Miami pictures), so thanks to Kanye for pissing me off enough to break the silence. Also thanks to David for finding these Kanye clips.