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I am really angry, and I just can’t shake it. I’m venting here so I can get it off my chest and move on. And so I won’t be boring every person I know with this story.

Several months ago, while browsing the Durham volunteer center website, I came across a request for the time of a web designer to redo the website of a local volunteer organization.

Now, I’m not a professional web designer, but I know a lot about websites. More than a lot of web designers, I think. I’m usually more modest than this, but I think a person has to know a lot about websites to understand how much I know about websites. It is one area in technology where I have complete and absolute confidence, having spent the last few years writing programs that write websites on their own. This project would be a piece of cake, I thought, and knowing the need was out there, it was pretty selfish to not offer to help.

So I did. I heard back from the director, who told me not so graciously that he already had someone on the job. At his request, I gave him my contact information as a resource for the student who was getting college credit for this project. I never heard from her, but I didn’t really expect to.

I assumed the case was closed, but this week I got an email from the director, asking if I’m still available to do the site and if so, when I’m available to meet. I replied and said that I’d be happy to on the following condition: because it’s so important to me that the work actually gets done, I’m only willing to get involved if we can do it the tried-and-true way (in short, he tells me what he wants, i make it, he reviews it, i correct it, we put it up, and it’s over—-none of this back and forth time-wasting crap that so often ensures the site never goes live). I put a great deal of effort into conveying how this would be best for both of us—his time would not be wasted and I could have enough space to do the work without having to jump through hoops. I would find out what he wanted, do the best job I could, and he could use my work or not, no hard feelings.

He replied with an even longer email, explaining to me that he knew “from experience” how this needed to happen. I will not even cave to the temptation of pasting his whole inane email, but suffice it to say that his first directive was “each page on the website needs to be printed out, can you do that? thanks.”, every third sentence included an improper use of the word “hence”, and he decided to pull the “director” card…as though I needed to listen to him because he’s a director, and I’m a lowly peon. When someone offers you a gift, you can accept it or reject it. At the very least, you should say thank you. The last thing you should do is try to pull rank and write 2 pages worth of demeaning directives and explanations as to why the volunteer is not as competent. Because the volunteer isn’t a director.

Needless to say, I sent him a brief response to let him know that I didn’t think we were on the same page, and I was no longer interested. I hoped that he would reply so that I’d have an opportunity to explain in more depth why his email was totally inappropriate but alas, no such response has come. He’s probably patting himself on the back for cutting through my bullshit since I wasn’t really committed, and go on finding people who are getting community service hours for trying to paste a website together, and in the end, lots of volunteers (for a very worthy cause) will have that much poorer of an experience trying to get important information on this site. Seriously, the guy is really a first-class asshat.

I know that if I were counseling a friend in my situation, I’d point out that this guy’s life is his own punishment. I mean, thinking that being the director of a small volunteer organization gives you carte blanche to demean, insult, and disrespect other people kind of makes you your own punchline. His obvious lack of manners, grace, and education has probably resulted in what isn’t the best life ever. And hence, I should be more gracious myself and just feel sorry for him. But somehow that doesn’t console me. I’m so bad with disrespect.

I read something this week about poor drivers—the type who are “emotionally territorial” and think that every rude thing done to them on the road as a personal attack. This is the heart of road rage. I’m usually pretty calm on the road, but I definitely think I fit the description of an emotionally territorial person. Getting a grip on that will probably be my resolution for 2007.

While I’m beating you over the head with my opinions, I also decided this week that I’m against Share Your Christmas programs. Since when is it productive to reinforce materialism in underprivileged people? Especially for a religious holiday. It’s important that kids have heat and food. I don’t think it’s possible to raise a well-adjusted child having never told him/her “we can’t afford that”. Some kids have to hear it a lot. But if you don’t make the connection early that no money => no frivolous stuff, it’s just going to be that much harder to do it later. No money => free handouts is not really a world model I want to support.

Despite my rage, it’s actually been a pretty good weekend. Except that I tried to buy David a pair of kid’s Cars-themed pajama pants and after waiting for a hispanic couple with matching mullets to move out of the aisle they were blocking, I learned that they were all sold out. Other than that, I saw two movies, bought presents, sold stuff on eBay, made chicken masala, and ate ice cream. Only eight more days of work and then it’s time for celebrations!