mary: “i’m sorry I’m getting all dramatic about this; I’m sure it must be draining to hear about since we break up like every five minutes.”
dad: ”...are you sure it isn’t more like every 28 days?”
and so we meet again, Internet. today i’m here to say nothing of substance. and quickly, because i have more things to do today than might be possible. i’m posting from work since i’ll already be here late, which is a really sensible thing to do since we all know that when you have more on your plate than you know how to handle, the answer is to procrastinate.
so. i am going home tomorrow. i return to durham on monday. now you have the facts. while i’m home, i am attending approximately 112 events, so please go easy on me if i’m scattered. i know that i will not get to see as many people as i’d like and i plan to take almost no responsibility for initiating anything, so if you want to see me you can call and I will try really hard to set something up. alternately, you can elect to not call and not whine about missing me, because i ran out of pity last month and haven’t gotten a new shipment.
the big event, Anne Marie’s bachelorette party, is saturday night. i’m excited about it but I realized last night that I need to buy something to wear. All of us (except AM) are planning to wear black, but I don’t have any non-white skirts that could go with black tops and I never let myself buy black dresses because somewhere i got it into my head that black dresses are for girls with low self-esteem who aren’t sure what to wear for a particular occasion and don’t especially want to be noticed, and I already have one black dress so it never seemed like a good investment.
The thing about that dress, though, is that it has too much shit associated with it to be a decent party dress. Over the years, I’ve thrown it in my suitcase when I actually wasn’t sure what to wear for a particular occasion or really didn’t especially want to be noticed. I don’t think i’ll ever forget standing in front of my closet the morning of November 10th, wondering if I really had to make the decision to pack a dress in the event that my trip home included a funeral for my father. I knew that if things went badly, the last thing I would want to do would be go to Southland mall and wade through the gangsters, homeless people, and high school cheerleading queens to find something appropriate for a funeral, but the only way I could let myself put it in the bag was by promising myself that when everything turned out ok, I would wear it to take Dad out for a fabulous celebratory dinner. I’ve worn it once since the funeral and have decided that probably much no amount of fun would bring it back from the mental space of ‘things to wear when shit sucks really bad’.
So I think that on AM’s day, maybe I could do all of us a favor and find something to wear something that won’t depress me. Plus, the mall always puts me in a good mood (until I get my bank statement, anyway).
in lighter topics: i have been drinking this diet energy drink from Steaz and I’m trying to decide whether it’s awesome or bullshit. I want to love it for being 1. fair trade, 2. organic, 3. made in the USA, 4. powered with yerba mate and guarana, 5. doesn’t contain anything nasty, and 6. is sort of delicious. But the packaging is pretty pretentious and it doesn’t really taste like mate, probably because it doesn’t contain much, which would be why i am still nodding off at work and not buzzing away happily like i hoped to be. If you want a mate-based drink that tastes like mate (without being gross) and makes you alert and focused and not jittery and kinda broke after you pay for it but popular at work when people think you’re strolling in at 7am with a corona, try sol maté. you can get it at whole foods.
Well, Internet, that’s the news: I am going to be at work for a million years today, and then I’m going to try to buy a decent black dress, finish packing, bring Nixie to Godfather David for a fabulous weekend of being spoiled by his favorite boy and try to get a couple hours sleep before going to the airport in the morning.
thank you for paying attention to my wardrobe dilemma and various undertones of whininess and melancholy. see you (maybe) this weekend!
Um. You need to throw/give that dress away.
Or, hack it up and turn it into something else. Although I don’t know if a whimsical, home-made, matching camera case, nalgene cozy, and placemat set made out of a funeral dress is really the right solution here.
— John Jul 24, 09:42 PM [link]I think you looked beautiful in that black dress and the universive wants you to rescue it from bad thoughts and pack it for a happier reason…just in case going to the mall doesn’t seem like a good time expenditure. I’m always one to buy something fun and pretty for any good excuse, but buying just because you have to get something is just about as bad, or worse as not wearing something beautiful, because you had to take it to a terrible occasion once. It’s not the dresses fault…Let is have some fun…but only if you want! No one would blame you if you want to burn it or give it away either..and I don’t mind finding a dress for you! I’m getting pretty good as a personal shopper for quite a few folks!
— Mary Ellen Jul 25, 12:52 AM [link]I think you looked beautiful in that black dress and the universive wants you to rescue it from bad thoughts and pack it for a happier reason…just in case going to the mall doesn’t seem like a good time expenditure. I’m always one to buy something fun and pretty for any good excuse, but buying just because you have to get something is just about as bad, or worse as not wearing something beautiful, because you had to take it to a terrible occasion once. It’s not the dress’ fault…Let is have some fun…but only if you want! No one would blame you if you want to burn it or give it away either..and I don’t mind finding a dress for you! I’m getting pretty good as a personal shopper for quite a few folks!
— Mary Ellen Jul 25, 12:53 AM [link]